In my house there is an extra bedroom where Nana and Grandpa sleep when they come to visit. My mom also uses this room as a playroom. It has some toys, a TV, and a bed. It's a really nice place to be, and I enjoy this room often. However, every time I go in there I am shocked at the order of that room. The bed is made and the toys are put away in various baskets or binds. So I start my daily chore of making the room right again.
I throw every toy out on to the floor. I pull the covers off the bed and place the pillows on the floor. It doesn't take long. I pride myself on my speed and thoroughness. Once I complete the chore of righting this room, I move on to my other household chores: emptying out the pantry, mixing the cat's dry food into her water dish, crushing goldfish crackers on the floor, etc. The list of my chores is endless! But I'm a hard worker, and I accept my two year old responsibilities with a positive attitude that anyone would be proud of . . . anyone accept my MOMMY!
Now, I did not list all my chores to suggest that I am working any harder than any other two year old out there. I know I am not alone. I know that all of you out there are doing your best every day to empty out every bind, bucket, closet, and cabinet. I'm not mad about having to do all the chores. And, it's not the monotony of repeated tasks that is getting to me. (Believe it or not, I truly never tire of it and take immense joy in my work.) It's is my mommy that is frustrating the process.
I cannot tell you what it feels like to have completely wrecked a room only to go back moments later and find everything put up again. One day I had to wreck the guest room three times! Three times!!! I even made sure that I did a better job each time. I just wanted to scream at her, "How many times do I have to fix this room!" And get this. She acted like she was frustrated with me. Are you kidding me? Seriously! I am working so hard everyday to make this house a home; a place we can be proud of, and she is ruining it! Just ruining it, ugh! Sometimes, she even locks some of the doors so that I cannot work in certain areas and rooms anymore. I'm just so mad and frustrated.
Luckily for me, I can do my chores faster than she can pick up. While she puts the toys away in the guest room, I work on the pantry. She goes to the pantry to destroy my hard work, and I move on to the bookself in my bedroom. By the time lunch rolls around, I'm exhausted. Nap time will be here soon. Which is good. I think mommy needs a little alone time. Hopefully she won't be so "cleany, cleany" when I get up. But even if she is, I will still love her. And with my battery recharged after my nap, I know I will have the strength to do it all over again -- and again.
Thanks for listening. It just feels good to vent sometimes. She is really is a good mom, and I love her very much. It's just somedays, ugh! You know what I mean. Are any of the rest of you having to deal with a mom that keeps destroying all that you work so hard on by cleaning it up? Share some of your stories. What are some of your favorite rooms and places to fix up?
See you in the guest room,
Ella
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Car Seat Death Match 2008
I decided about a month ago that I was done with the car seat. I don't mind "riding" in the car seat. I just don't want to be buckled in anymore. I have repeatedly made this known to my mommy and daddy. When Nana came to visit, I took the time to share my thoughts with her on the subject as well. However, NO ONE seems to be listening.
I have kicked and screamed, slapped and pinched; yet, I still am buckled in my seat. I have developed a move (or skill as I like to refer to it). I call it the Stiff Board Horse. I thought I would share it with all the other toddlers out there so that maybe we could work together to make this maneuver even more effective than where I currently have it.
Position 1: Stiff board
Pretend that the car seat is on fire and stiffen your body so as to not get in the "sitting" position. Draw the buttocks in and straighten the back and legs. You should look like a stiff board with only your head and calves touching the actual seat. (If your mom happens to lose her grip, you will slide down the seat hitting your head on the foot of the car seat then on the back of one of the front seats. Don't be alarmed. It is okay. You've broken free for the moment, so it is technically worth it.) Even though your body is rigid from head to toe, please note that the forearms and hands can and should be mobile. Pinching and slapping seem to work well in this position.
Now there will come a point where you will be unable to continue holding the stiff board position (especially with your mom pressing down on your hips trying her best to make you sit). This is the point where you want to launch into the next position.
Position 2: Horse
Pretend you a rodeo bronco in for the fight/ride for your life. Aggressively buck your body into the car seat then back out to the stiff board position. Don't forget to put your total body into it. Your arms were already in action in the stiff board position, but now is the time to engage the head and legs as well. So bang your head and kick as hard as you can.
WARNING: The horse bucking move is difficult. It has been during this maneuver that my mommy seems to be able to trap me in the sitting position, thus allowing her access to the shoulder harnesses and buckles. (It is hard for me to truly evaluated how she traps me, because I'm out visiting the great state of Crazy in the moment.) But I think she is trapping me by placing an elbow in between my legs at the base and using her forearm to hold my chest in place. She then uses the other arm to attach the top buckles. I'm fighting her like a wild animal, which is good. She will have to use both hands to get the straps around my arms and shoulders to clip the top buckle, thus allowing me to launch into another stiff board position. The stiff board can still be used even when the top buckle is connected, but eventually you have to buck again, and that allows your mom to pin you. Also be careful once the top buckle is engaged. You can get so into crazy that you start to slide out of the seat with the top buckle connected and darn near hurt yourself. But on the bright side, you also might slide yourself out. Once the top latch is engaged; it's a gamble, that's all I'm saying. Use your judgement and trust your mommy to protect you. It's what she's there for.
Secret Tip: If you can sit on or keep the lower buckle behind you, you can greatly improve your odds in the match. Your mommy has to get that buckle between your legs, which is nearly impossible during stiff board position. I have never fully defeated my mommy in Car Seat Death Match, but by using this secret tip, I have greatly extended my time in battle.
Needless to say, all above skills are done with ear piercing, door rattling screams. Ask yourself, "Is my mommy wincing? Can I be heard by strangers who are near by?" If your mommy does not look distressed and strangers are not turning their heads, then you are not giving enough to the project verbally. With time and practice, your verbal prowess will improve. You know you've made it to the top level when dogs begin to howl with you.
I also cannot stress enough the physical component of this skill. No matter what position you are in, you should be both offensively and defensively battling your mommy. Even when you know defeat is imminent and you find yourself firmly locked into your seat, do not stop protesting until the key is in the car's ignition.
So basically this is where I am at with the car seat issue. I am doing my best, but I have not won a single car seat death match yet. But I feel like I'm close. Have any of my fellow toddlers got any advice on how to improve my technique? Please share your stories. I could use a few pointers. I have not explored biting or spitting yet, but I am open to suggestions. What has worked for you?
I will post again soon. Encouragement and peace to all my fellow toddlers. Remember to keep your patience with your parents. They love us; they just are not fully understanding our boundaries and values yet.
Your warrior princess,
Ella
A note from guest speaker and my older sister, Laurel.
Great article Ella! I did want to add that not everyone waits for their Car Seat Death Matches until age two. I began my career at 4 months of age. I started small, with long fits of crying that defied all reason, then quickly moved into the the physical fighting as my body and motor skills developed and would allow. I was not one to stop protesting when mom started the car. I in fact would cry for ...well...as long I was in the car, really. I didn't end my career in Car Seat Death Matches until you were born. Three car seats would not fit in our vehicle. We had to purchase a van to accommodate you; but mommy got one with a DVD player to accommodate me. I cannot say that I ever won a match against mom either; but when you get to watch Dora in the car, you can thank me for the feature.
Thanks, Laurel. You have been a real inspiration and I have learned so much from you. I think we all see now that you are never too young to start a career in Car Seat Death Matches. I thank you for all your hard work and tenacity. The DVD player is great.
I asked my oldest brother for some words of advice, but he had none to offer. He was ALWAYS a great traveler. Show off!
I have kicked and screamed, slapped and pinched; yet, I still am buckled in my seat. I have developed a move (or skill as I like to refer to it). I call it the Stiff Board Horse. I thought I would share it with all the other toddlers out there so that maybe we could work together to make this maneuver even more effective than where I currently have it.
Position 1: Stiff board
Pretend that the car seat is on fire and stiffen your body so as to not get in the "sitting" position. Draw the buttocks in and straighten the back and legs. You should look like a stiff board with only your head and calves touching the actual seat. (If your mom happens to lose her grip, you will slide down the seat hitting your head on the foot of the car seat then on the back of one of the front seats. Don't be alarmed. It is okay. You've broken free for the moment, so it is technically worth it.) Even though your body is rigid from head to toe, please note that the forearms and hands can and should be mobile. Pinching and slapping seem to work well in this position.
Now there will come a point where you will be unable to continue holding the stiff board position (especially with your mom pressing down on your hips trying her best to make you sit). This is the point where you want to launch into the next position.
Position 2: Horse
Pretend you a rodeo bronco in for the fight/ride for your life. Aggressively buck your body into the car seat then back out to the stiff board position. Don't forget to put your total body into it. Your arms were already in action in the stiff board position, but now is the time to engage the head and legs as well. So bang your head and kick as hard as you can.
WARNING: The horse bucking move is difficult. It has been during this maneuver that my mommy seems to be able to trap me in the sitting position, thus allowing her access to the shoulder harnesses and buckles. (It is hard for me to truly evaluated how she traps me, because I'm out visiting the great state of Crazy in the moment.) But I think she is trapping me by placing an elbow in between my legs at the base and using her forearm to hold my chest in place. She then uses the other arm to attach the top buckles. I'm fighting her like a wild animal, which is good. She will have to use both hands to get the straps around my arms and shoulders to clip the top buckle, thus allowing me to launch into another stiff board position. The stiff board can still be used even when the top buckle is connected, but eventually you have to buck again, and that allows your mom to pin you. Also be careful once the top buckle is engaged. You can get so into crazy that you start to slide out of the seat with the top buckle connected and darn near hurt yourself. But on the bright side, you also might slide yourself out. Once the top latch is engaged; it's a gamble, that's all I'm saying. Use your judgement and trust your mommy to protect you. It's what she's there for.
Secret Tip: If you can sit on or keep the lower buckle behind you, you can greatly improve your odds in the match. Your mommy has to get that buckle between your legs, which is nearly impossible during stiff board position. I have never fully defeated my mommy in Car Seat Death Match, but by using this secret tip, I have greatly extended my time in battle.
Needless to say, all above skills are done with ear piercing, door rattling screams. Ask yourself, "Is my mommy wincing? Can I be heard by strangers who are near by?" If your mommy does not look distressed and strangers are not turning their heads, then you are not giving enough to the project verbally. With time and practice, your verbal prowess will improve. You know you've made it to the top level when dogs begin to howl with you.
I also cannot stress enough the physical component of this skill. No matter what position you are in, you should be both offensively and defensively battling your mommy. Even when you know defeat is imminent and you find yourself firmly locked into your seat, do not stop protesting until the key is in the car's ignition.
So basically this is where I am at with the car seat issue. I am doing my best, but I have not won a single car seat death match yet. But I feel like I'm close. Have any of my fellow toddlers got any advice on how to improve my technique? Please share your stories. I could use a few pointers. I have not explored biting or spitting yet, but I am open to suggestions. What has worked for you?
I will post again soon. Encouragement and peace to all my fellow toddlers. Remember to keep your patience with your parents. They love us; they just are not fully understanding our boundaries and values yet.
Your warrior princess,
Ella
A note from guest speaker and my older sister, Laurel.
Great article Ella! I did want to add that not everyone waits for their Car Seat Death Matches until age two. I began my career at 4 months of age. I started small, with long fits of crying that defied all reason, then quickly moved into the the physical fighting as my body and motor skills developed and would allow. I was not one to stop protesting when mom started the car. I in fact would cry for ...well...as long I was in the car, really. I didn't end my career in Car Seat Death Matches until you were born. Three car seats would not fit in our vehicle. We had to purchase a van to accommodate you; but mommy got one with a DVD player to accommodate me. I cannot say that I ever won a match against mom either; but when you get to watch Dora in the car, you can thank me for the feature.
Thanks, Laurel. You have been a real inspiration and I have learned so much from you. I think we all see now that you are never too young to start a career in Car Seat Death Matches. I thank you for all your hard work and tenacity. The DVD player is great.
I asked my oldest brother for some words of advice, but he had none to offer. He was ALWAYS a great traveler. Show off!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Introducing my blog
Hi everyone,
I'm sure that you've read my bio located to the side, but I don't think it really gives you the full picture as to why I have taken up blogging. You see, it started this past 4th of July, on my second birthday. I decided I was done with the sweet baby season of my life. I was ready to become the firecracker I was destined to be. I was ready to fully embody my two's.
I was always a delightful happy baby. Truly I was. My mom told me that all the time. She is a great lady who I love dearly, but lately she has gotten into a rather nasty habit. She has been telling me, "no." Don't get me wrong, she does say yes, but to things I don't want like, "Yes, you will get into the car seat. Yes, you are going to eat your vegetables." Really I've just had enough! Who does she thinks she is? My mother!?!
I have decided that we are just going to have a battle of wills. I am placing her on a year long program. By the time I reach three years of age, she will learn my rules and boundaries.
I know I am not alone in my struggles; so for all my fellow toddlers out there, I hear you. I will be your voice and fight against the presence of car seats, nap times, hair washing, & vegetable eating. I will stand up for throwing all objects, drinking bath water, and jumping on all furniture. I will NOT keep my hands to myself. I WILL NOT. Together we can make a difference! United we can put an end to timeouts and rules in general!
I hope my writings will make you laugh and offer you encouragement and hope in your daily walk with your parents and siblings. Pray that I may have the strength to each day launch a full on attack against the no-no talk. I just hope my parents realize that I love them and that I am only doing what I do for the greater good (and by greater good, I mean me.)
Until we chat again,
Ella
I'm sure that you've read my bio located to the side, but I don't think it really gives you the full picture as to why I have taken up blogging. You see, it started this past 4th of July, on my second birthday. I decided I was done with the sweet baby season of my life. I was ready to become the firecracker I was destined to be. I was ready to fully embody my two's.
I was always a delightful happy baby. Truly I was. My mom told me that all the time. She is a great lady who I love dearly, but lately she has gotten into a rather nasty habit. She has been telling me, "no." Don't get me wrong, she does say yes, but to things I don't want like, "Yes, you will get into the car seat. Yes, you are going to eat your vegetables." Really I've just had enough! Who does she thinks she is? My mother!?!
I have decided that we are just going to have a battle of wills. I am placing her on a year long program. By the time I reach three years of age, she will learn my rules and boundaries.
I know I am not alone in my struggles; so for all my fellow toddlers out there, I hear you. I will be your voice and fight against the presence of car seats, nap times, hair washing, & vegetable eating. I will stand up for throwing all objects, drinking bath water, and jumping on all furniture. I will NOT keep my hands to myself. I WILL NOT. Together we can make a difference! United we can put an end to timeouts and rules in general!
I hope my writings will make you laugh and offer you encouragement and hope in your daily walk with your parents and siblings. Pray that I may have the strength to each day launch a full on attack against the no-no talk. I just hope my parents realize that I love them and that I am only doing what I do for the greater good (and by greater good, I mean me.)
Until we chat again,
Ella
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