Timeout with Endless Possibilities

Timeouts are awful; just awful. When I grow up I plan on creating legislation to make it illegal to use or even threaten a timeout. But until that day comes, I wanted to share some tips on how to make the most of your time in the naughty spot.

Timeouts, as bad as they are, can have endless possibilities for fun. Now before I move onto my lists of "do's", I have to state the obvious. The majority of your time (especially in the first moments) should be spent screaming. Thrashing and stomping are also acceptable, but screaming is a must. Once you get tired with the fits of rage (take all the time you need) you might want a little something else to do. You must be quick and effective, because when you get quiet, the mommy comes back. Having ideas like these will help you

make the most of your time.

Now if your mommy is like mine, she probably puts you in a place where there is very little (if anything) to do or play with. But don't let that discourage you. Dig deep and let your surroundings inspire you. Find a seam in the wallpaper? Pull and tear. Minuscule hole or dent in the wall? With time and effort you can make it large and noticeable to anyone walking by. Even when the memory of the timeout is over, you can have a permanent display of your skills on the wall. (Trust me. It always takes them a lot of time to repair that kind of damage.) Pick carpet; scratch the flooring; catch a dust bunny. I am telling you there is more to do in timeout than just bang your head. (Though still another viable option.) Of course, if you are in a place that has a door protector on the base board (you know; one of those springy stick things at the bottom of the wall), play that baby like the lead soloist in a Hee-Haw band.

Ta-wong, ta-wong!

Now that we discussed exploring your environment, let's go to a more personal level. You! Nine out of ten times, you are not going to be naked when put in timeout. But don't think that you can't get that way. Stripping off all the constraints (or clothes in mommy talk) in your timeout containment is a great way to pass your period of cruel and unusual solitary confinement. Now, your tossed clothing has magically become toys! Pants become head wear, creating a beautiful head of hair. Your socks are now hand puppets. Mommy wants my timeout to be alone time where I calm down. But how can I calm down when I have Lefty and Righty to party with? Plus, I've heard it said that the best revenge in life against your rival is living well. And it is so true. You-know-who might call it a TIME OUT, but with the right attitude, I like to make it into a TIME IN FUNVILLE!

So get out there and make every time out the time of your life. I'll see you when I get out of the naughty spot. -- Ella

P.S. Lefty and Righty say "Bye-bye!"

These Boots are Made for Stomping - And that's just what I'll do!

Fall is fully here! Gone are the afternoons spent in the backyard with bare feet running through the grass. My sandals are gone and they have been replaced with the greatest footwear of all time . . . cowgirl boots.

These are fabulous! Hot pink with silver foil accents, zippers on the the sides, and the slightest of heels that clickity, clack on most flooring. I am in love. They are just so versatile. I wear them with pants, dresses, or just a diaper.

Now as impressed as I am with their fashion fabulousness, I must take the time to mention function. Toddlers, if you ever have had misgivings about footwear, let alone boots, then please hear me now. Cowboy boots are the only footwear that bring fashion and function together. Not only are you going to draw "oohs" and "ahhs" walking around town, you will be able to cause physical pain to others. Let me explain.

Step on someone's foot with your bare feet - nothing. Do it in boots and people will take notice. Kick your older brother or sister in your sneakers, and they will be annoyed. Do it in boots and now you are a force to be reckoned with. I sing "yeehaw" while they howl like a sad little doggie. Let's just say that when I'm in my boots, people know there's a new sheriff in town. And she knows how to kick some. . . well I can't say it; but just know, I am doing it!

With boots, you are a much more effective stomper and kicker. I'm louder and stronger with my boots on. I have worn fun footwear before that has made me feel like a beautiful princess, but I feel empowered in my boots. I am on top of the world, stomping it down with each step.

So go out and get you a pair. They make them for boys or girls. These beauties were given to me by my Nana. Well, actually, they were given to my older sister, Laurel. But the "hand me down" issue is a whole 'nother blog, people. And I really don't care how I got these boots. I just want them on.

Stomps, kicks, and kisses,

Ella

Introducing my blog

Hi everyone,

I'm sure that you've read my bio located to the side, but I don't think it really gives you the full picture as to why I have taken up blogging. You see, it started this past 4th of July, on my second birthday. I decided I was done with the sweet baby season of my life. I was ready to become the firecracker I was destined to be. I was ready to fully embody my two's.

I was always a delightful happy baby. Truly I was. My mom told me that all the time. She is a great lady who I love dearly, but lately she has gotten into a rather nasty habit. She has been telling me, "no." Don't get me wrong, she does say yes, but to things I don't want like, "Yes, you will get into the car seat. Yes, you are going to eat your vegetables." Really I've just had enough! Who does she thinks she is? My mother!?!

I have decided that we are just going to have a battle of wills. I am placing her on a year long program. By the time I reach three years of age, she will learn my rules and boundaries.

I know I am not alone in my struggles; so for all my fellow toddlers out there, I hear you. I will be your voice and fight against the presence of car seats, nap times, hair washing, & vegetable eating. I will stand up for throwing all objects, drinking bath water, and jumping on all furniture. I will NOT keep my hands to myself. I WILL NOT. Together we can make a difference! United we can put an end to timeouts and rules in general!

I hope my writings will make you laugh and offer you encouragement and hope in your daily walk with your parents and siblings. Pray that I may have the strength to each day launch a full on attack against the no-no talk. I just hope my parents realize that I love them and that I am only doing what I do for the greater good (and by greater good, I mean me.)

Until we chat again,
Ella