Cheapskate!

Right now our world is experiencing an economic crisis. Many families are looking for ways to cut costs and save money. Noble efforts truly. However, something extreme has occurred in my life and I will not accept it. Last week my mommy, the one who is supposed to be looking out for my well being, did the unthinkable. She changed my diaper brand to the cheapest generic brand available.


Now again, I am for saving some coin. My mommy has always been frugal. Store brand foods, brother's home haircuts (that's an experience he'll be sharing in future therapy sessions), and home cooked meals in lieu of fine dining (not that I would have been invited anyway) are all things that were common even before these economical hard times hit. But the diapers have been the untouchable. The best lock-away leak protection diaper that money can buy has always been worth any cost. Until now. Until now!


I would like to say that my mom is cutting corners to save money for what will be important for me in the future, like college (which I believe is the name of the pony they want to get me when I'm older.) But I believe, that is not her true motivation. She is not only a cheapskate; she is a conspirator. Let me explain.


Lately mommy has been having little "chats" with me about the potty. She'll bring out a little potty chair and she'll offer incentives for sitting on the chair. But then, she wants me to pee on the thing. Are you kidding! That's disgusting! I'm like, "Hey crazy lady. I've already got a system in place for that kind of thing. It's call a diaper. I use it; you change it. This is the way of my people. Leave me alone!"


She's not really pushing the idea. We are just discussing options and equipment. But I can't be any clearer; I'm not buying what she's selling! I am happy with my diapers. In fact, if I am running around in my beautiful natural state of nakedness and I feel the urge to "make water," I will lay down on the ground, lift my legs in the air and cry for a diaper. It's as clear as day what I want but my mommy (obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer) goes and gets the chair out and again starts having one of her chats about the potty. Unbelievable! I'm trying to hold off "Old Faithful," and she wants me to sit on a chair.

She knows I'm not ready for all that, so she puts the chair away. (Maybe the Baby Einstein videos are making a difference with her.) But then I hear her talking to my dad about how she's going to make it "uncomfortable" for me. She bought those cheap diapers hoping that I would not be as comfortable in them. Seriously, what kind of evil mind thinks up these things. Let me tell you mommy dearest, you're not the only gal in this family that plays hard ball. BRING IT ON! We'll see who starts appreciating leak protection more. If you've got the courage, meet me for storytime at 3:30PM sharp -- Your lap or your bed! You pick the place, and I'll be ready. I'm not going down without a fight. You will give me back my diapers or pay!

Sorry to sound so angry today. It's just that sometimes I am so amazed at where her head is. Can any of you guys relate? Are any of you being sent to the chair? She really is a nice mommy. However, I'm just irritated. NO REALLY! I think I am getting a rash. These cheap things just don't breathe.


Longing for some Huggies or some Pamper-ing,
Ella



UPDATE: I really did get a rash after a few days on Mom's plan. She went and bought me my good old diapers again. Today was a victory, even if it did give me a case of the reds.